A visit from Jack Boots and E.N. Forcer

*knock, knock*

“Yes? Hello?

“Ms Homeowner?”

“Yes, that’s me. How can I help you gentlemen?”

“Ms Homeowner, I’m Jack Boots, from your neighborhood association, and this E. N. Forcer, from municipal government.”

(apprehensively) “Yes? What’s wrong?”

“Ms Homeowner, I’m sorry to tell you this, but you aren’t allowed to hang your clothes out to dry. Clean clothes flapping in the breeze is an eyesore, on a par with rusting automobiles left on blocks in the front yard. You’ll have to take them down.”

“But I do that to save energy, and also to reduce my carbon footprint. Hanging clothes out to dry saves fuel and protects the environment, while it also saves me money.”

“That’s what they claim, Ms Homeowner. I wouldn’t know about that. All I know is that we can’t have people thinking the folks living in this development can’t afford to use the dryer. You’ll have to take them down.”

“But…”

“Now Mr. Forcer has something to say to you.”

“Ms Homeowner, I understand you watered your vegetable garden last evening.”

“Well, yes, I did. We haven’t had much rain, as you know, and I depend on those vegetables to provide fresh, healthy food for myself and my family. We even can the excess to help us through the winter.”

“I’m sorry, Ms Homeowner, but I’m afraid that’s not allowed. Water restrictions, you know. You’re going to have to rely on canned and frozen foods produced a thousand miles away and shipped here, just like the rest of us.”

“But wait a minute, sir, if there are water restrictions, why are they continuing to build new houses? There are several big developments going in, I pass them on my way to work every day. And even one of those houses would use many times more water than I do to water my little garden!”

“I wouldn’t know about that, Ms Homeowner, not my department. I just know that watering your garden is a no-no. Thanks for your time, ma’am. Have a nice day.”

“Oh, and one more thing.”

“Yes, Mr. Boots?”

“Your American flag in the front yard -- is that a 12 foot pole?”

“Why, yes, it is. Why?”

“Four feet too high for our neighborhood covenants. You’ll have to cut it down to size, or take it down entirely. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

“Ummm… well, thank you. Goodbye.”

Exaggerated? Well, yes… but not by much. Though the names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent, conversations much like these have been held with many people across our county, state, and nation since the advent of homeowners associations, neighborhood covenants, and the like.

I grew up surrounded by one of the first major planned communities, the so-called “New City” of Columbia, Maryland. Columbia was notorious for its restrictive covenants. You had to get association approval to change the color of your front door, and even then, only limited colors were allowed. Still, I’d be the first to admit some covenants are appropriate. Few of us want to live next door to the rusting hulk of a ’57 Chevy on blocks, surrounded by pink plastic flamingos.

But some restrictions, such as the ban in many neighborhood association agreements on drying clothes by hanging them outside, are not only silly, but in this age of rising energy costs, shrinking supplies, and global climate change, are downright wrong-headed. Anything we can do, within reason, to save energy and help the environment should be not only allowed, but applauded by the relevant authorities.

Similarly, distinctions need to be made between keeping one’s lawn as green as a golf-course, or nurturing a bevy of blooming ornamentals, and growing food for one’s table. The first two are pretty, but not essential. The latter is a fundamental human right, and a decision in favor of good health, good food, and good stewardship of the land, and against the social, political, and energy costs of centralized production and long-distance transport.

The bit about the American flag was included partly because that, too, has come up in covenant disputes, and partly because finding the balance between individual liberty and community responsibility, and between deep, essential values and trivial, superficial desires, has been part of what America is all about.

Unfortunately, blanket restrictions, applied without consideration of why some people may choose a particular course of action and without weighing the specific situation on its merits, are counter to both individual liberty and true community. We can and should do better.